After a round in the tulip gardens, we headed back to Dal Lake. We were staying there – In the Dal lake!
Well, actually on the banks of the Dal lake where our house boat was anchored.
Houseboat in itself was nice. 4 bedrooms, a kitchenette, a dining area, a living room and a sit out overlooking part of the Dal lake.
It was not quite upto my imagination. No, not the houseboat, but the location of the anchoring. I thought it would be somewhere in the middle of the lake and just water everywhere that our eyes could reach. The lake bordered with snow clad mountains and surrounded with quiet.
It was exactly the opposite.
Never the less, we went for a shikara (boat) ride and here are a few clicks of that evening!

This is shikara.. the boat we took a ride in. at the far end of the lake, you can see the houseboats lined up next to one another. One of those was ours…

Ageless.. priceless satisfaction on this old man’s face… i wonder, will i have it?

36 C in Delhi to 14 C in Srinagar was Super! oh boy, vacation had begun!
Srinagar airport as predicted, had a lot of security and photography was prohibited. so i dont have any ‘first view of Kashmir’ photographs.
but stepping down on the tarmac and feeling that icy chill against the skin was one of the best feelings. we were finally there, in the valley of Kashmir!
The first thing we did was dump our luggage, have lunch and head to the tulip gardens.. here are a few clicks of the largest tulip garden of Asia…

‘a flower waiting to bloom. Like a lightbulb in a dark room’ ~ Nora Jones

‘I am sensational, i am RED!!’

‘A dash of red…’

‘Every flower is a soul blossoming in nature’ ~ Gerard De Nerval

‘Standing tall’

‘Stand up for what you believe in, even if you’re standing alone’

‘Sizzling red’

‘Pink, waiting to bloom… hopeful and expectant’

‘the Tulip gardens’

We can fully appreciate the miracle of sunrise only if we have waited in the darkness for long….!! (~unknown)

photo credit goes to the husband ofcourse

Does the romance in a relationship die after a certain period?
When you are married for a long time, do you start taking your partner for granted?
Well, that is the claim most of the wives make!
My standard response to this is – Define romance.

I don’t make any claim. The husband never wrote me poems, he never brought me flowers, and he didn’t give me surprises like a diamond ring or an exotic holiday. He never gave me greeting cards (except a couple of times – I think), never wrote me long letters.
 
Frankly, I never expected him to. Small things like holding my hand when walking on the street, trying to cook a simple dish of daal and rice or offering to dine out when I get held up at office (though, whenever I ask him what he wants to eat, he always says ‘masala dosa’. To which the standard response is rolling my eyes), never making a fuss about the dinner I cook and never being picky about food, giving me a stupid smile and hugging me when I yell at him for making a mess in the house (this hasn’t changed in past 6 years of our marriage) and then making excuses and pointing out how much mess I make too!
Even thinking about it makes me laugh.
Every marriage goes through ups and downs. And we went through our downs, yeah we did! But we climbed back up..
There are still times when we don’t talk to each other in the evening when we get back from work, or are very tired and frustrated with the way the day went. There are times when we sleep with our backs to each other.
But the best part is – in spite of whatever happened the day before, when I wake up in the morning I have his arms around me and my head cradled in the nook of his shoulder – always!
For me, this is romance. And it hasn’t died for us!

 
Anyways,
You must be wondering why this talk of romance?
A colleague of mine Ismail asked my help to refine a poem he was writing for his fiancée (ooooh…. How romantic!!!! Yeah. Yeah.)
Since, I am officially taking care of the communications for a project; people think I am capable of editing – things – for them. Well, the poor guy had such ‘romantic’ intentions that I didn’t want to spoil it for him. So I agreed.
I have done some refinement in his originally written poem but the thought flow remains his..
Here goes..

I never had this feeling before, so it keeps me guessing..
After seeing you, my heart beats always go missing..

You’re on my mind all the time..
The only one who’s making my world rhyme..

We share this lovely song
And I just wish it goes on and on and on…

When I first saw you I found the melody
I slowly filled in the lyrics to find the serenity

It’s the song of two hearts meeting
A serendipity which is worth everything!

When I sing this tune, everything seems to freeze
My heart beats form the rhythm and lets the world around cease

Slowly and steadily my life’s priorities are changing
The world seems beautiful and life seems amazing!

It is the song of showering love, so tender
Sweetheart, let’s loose the constraint & live in splendour

I look forward to our new life that has now begun
Mesmerised by the new found rhythm, as two hearts beat as one..

I have never, ever written a poem. I can just make up lines ending with rhyming words – sometimes.
I was seeing some pictures this evening and one of them compelled me to write a few lines.
They don’t make any sense, really. But since I have taken 10 minutes worth the effort, why not take a little more and post them??

The land is barren
But the sky is blue,
There are clouds laden
And it is such a beautiful view!

As I stand alone
Looking at the sky,
I think of you
And the moments gone by.

I wish you were here
Standing beside me,
So I could hold your hand
And say, “walk with me..”

And this is the picture that made me think of these lines…..

On this hot summer afternoon (yes, its already burning 38C here) i was just trying to cool off under a full bast of A/C.
i was picturing an hour on a lake or a sea shore. and then suddenly i remembered the morning we spent on Deepak tal in Leh. the mere memory of those moments soothed me….
here’s a snapshot of what we saw… (clicked by the husband)

 

As quoted by a celebrated sculptor, Kahlil Gibran, 'beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror...!'

I read it on FB. now THIS is something you post over FB than your daily diary. what a lovely thought..!!
thank you!! whoever you are for writing this beautiful poem!!

If a kiss were a raindrop, I’d send you showers.
If hugs were a second, I’d send you hours.
If smiles were water, I’d send you the sea.
If love was a person, I’d send you me.
If I had to choose whether to breathe or to love you,
I would use my last breath to tell you – I love you.
They say you only fall in love once, but that can’t be true…
I fall in love all over again, every time I look at you!

Facebook in this case, since i use FB.

Addictive..
Boring..
Addictive..

It is a nasty circle. And I go around that circle quite often. There are days when I don’t log in at all. And then there are days, I log in at least 2-3 times a day.
Currently I am in the latter category.
It is amazing. The whole social networking phenomenon is amazing! And with the ‘privacy’ options introduced some years ago, (was it a couple of years ago? Maybe) it is much better.

I now know what is happening in my friends lives (those who are ‘active’ on FB). I connected with so many of my old friends, colleagues, relatives, acquaintances (all ‘friends’ on the website by the way). See their pictures, their families, their pets etc. etc.
But people tend to stretch this whole ‘networking’ experience to a breaking point.

A few examples –

‘Wifey made puran poli today.. Yummy’ and then is posted a picture of the puran poli kept in a fancy dish…
If ur wifey has made that puran poli for you, then why don’t you just spend your time with your wifey eating that puran poli instead of being on FB?

‘I am in Sahakarnagar today’
Oh, excellent. What happened to the good old way of letting people (who you really want to meet) know by calling them or messaging them?

‘Did u log in on FB with your new phone?’
Reply: ‘no, not yet’
Reply: ‘are you just lazy or you are not able to? ’
The people who had this conversation on FB are husband and wife. Go figure!

‘Today is the worst day ever’
I don’t know why people like to puzzle.
When others reply asking what happened, they say, “nothing yaar”. if you don’t want anyone to know, why post it?
And some people who know what happened reply with supportive messages.
I know it is not wrong to ask for support. But ask it from only those whom u want the support from other than ranting in front of the whole world..!

‘I am missing you mom!!!!!’
God!! Just call her up and talk to her…. And how would she know? Is she even there on FB?

‘I forgot to call home and check on my baby. Am I a bad mother?’
What? And u have time to update this on FB??
And frankly, why would a mother need re-assurance of being a ‘good mother’ on FB?

No offence against any of the people who wrote this (yes, they are all real life experiences; MY FB-life experiences). It is their perspective, totally.

However, I couldn’t help but wonder – why would people need to lay down their book of life, open, on a public website? Are people, whom you can talk your heart to, so far away that you can’t reach them one on one? What happened to the telephones, to the emails, to the letters? What happened to privacy?
May be people don’t want to talk anymore. You just get an opportunity to speak (write) without interruptions and try to make your point.
I am being stupid. ‘Going for a vacation in Goa!! Yipppeeeee’
What is the point – to make – in that??

For me, the networking site should be used to share a life changing - happy event (We got married!!), happy pictures (like, with Ranbir Kapoor!!), social awareness messages (use water carefully), a happy news (we had a baby!), excellent photography, good articles, good jokes etc. etc.
And, I would never, ever use FB to share bad news. No, it’s not that I want people to think I am the happiest person in this whole world.
It’s just because sorrow is personal.

But then, that’s just me.

edited to add: and then i publish this post and i get a prompt saying “share on Facebook.” yeah, right!!

The last day of my existence as a 28-year old, we went to a nice-old-low cost-great food-joint-Café Good Luck.
After an egg masala, chilly chicken, an egg biriyani and egg fried rice; it was too difficult to even get up. Hey, wait; I didn’t mention custard pudding – two of those.
Just, FYI no, I don’t eat so much, there were three of us finishing off that meal.
By the time we finished, my jeans were pretty uncomfortable; If only I could just loosen that leather belt a little….
I wanted to rub my tired eyes – but could not do that because, for a change, I was wearing eye make-up (see why I hate make-up??)……
And I was making a promise to myself, for the millionth time, that I would never eat so much again……..
We paid the bill and it was time to vacate our table since there was a long waiting line. I did not want to go and SIT anywhere. I wanted to walk for some time and let my stomach settle a bit before I could impose the pressure of my waistband on it again.
Thankfully, that was exactly what my two companions were thinking. They too needed the walk.
So we walked on the FC road window-shopping. There are enormous amounts of shoe shops on that road. I had recently bought 4 pairs of shoes. If I went into that shop again, the husband would have ditched me then and there. So I went with the flow, didn’t say a word, diverted my train of thought (they were shouting – shoes! shoes! shoes! Those ones are really nice!!!!) and kept on walking.
Photography was the talk. Oh, did I mention my companions were – My husband and his sister: both are nuts about photography. So I just listened and kept walking.
My sis-in-law wanted a ‘Rajanigandha’ (also known as Nishigandha, raat-rani, and scientifically Cestrum nocturnum) flower stick. After hunting down 3 shops, we finally came across a guy who gave it to us at a reasonable price.
The first thing I noticed in his shop was tulips. Great colors, bunched together, very fresh! They were priced only INR 100 / flower.
Hehe.. hmm. I was not paying 100 rupees for a single flower which would die in a week. And anyways, we are going to Kashmir soon which has largest tulip farms in Asia! Why buy just one here?
But the flower guy was very enthu and gave us thorough information on how he imports various plants from various countries. It was then I saw a very ugly bulb (plant). I know nothing of bulbs / plants. But it looked like a sprouted onion.

Yes, this is what it looked like.

From the net.. we didnt click a picture of the bulb when we got it home..

It was priced at INR 300.
Are u kidding me???? I could let an onion sprout at home and plant it in a small bucket – for free!

Well, the flower guy obviously laughed at my naivety. He pulled out his Samsung S2 phone (yes, the flower guy!!) and showed me a picture of the bloomed Hyacinth in his own house. “It smells amazing!” he added.
Well. Ok. I am naïve. But the flower blooms only ONCE in a year!

“We spent 500 bucks on one meal this evening that is going to get digested and come out tomorrow morning as shit!”

Fine. Fine. We bought it. After all, we just had to immerse that plastic bucket in water. That’s it. The bulb was maintenance free.

We came home late that day, and I was so tired, that we just left the bulb on the dining table and crawled towards the bed. Next morning the plant was still alive (Clarification: I didn’t want it to die). I found a suitable container to hold that bucket (the container turned out to be a big mug which I was never going to use), filled it with water and placed the bulb in it.
Two days passed and I didn’t notice the plant at all. Then I noticed the water was low. I replaced it and realized the plant had grown. Enormously!
Every day, since then, I watched the plant before leaving and after coming home. I noticed, every time, it had grown. It enchanted me. How could it grow so fast? I willed myself to look at it for an hour continuously. I thought I would see the plant growing (like we see in the time trails). No, nothing of the sort happened. It just grew when we weren’t looking!
And then, suddenly as I came home this Wednesday, it had bloomed and how! Beautiful color, amazing smell – just like the flower guy promised.
I pestered the husband for clicking the pictures (strange. Yes.)
This is how the bloom looks like…

300 bucks for this beauty was too low a price.. too bad i cant post the smell!!

Obsession – Compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety.

How obsessed can a person become over a certain idea or a certain person? Can it extend to such a level that you could continuously wish bad or harm for that other person?
I know of one who was (past tense is an assumption) obsessed with me.. un-huh – a female, who am sure might have wished me an untimely death or something for having a preoccupation with the idea that I spread my charm and lured her husband into an affair. hmm. well.

It feels strange to see a similar situation unfold in front of my eyes. And I am watching this whole episode as a third person. It brings back memories that I had forgotten and swore never to remember again. It brings back the pain and hurt that I went through, that all the people went through 4 years ago.

Though, the situation is not as simple. Here, I am playing the role of a confidant for all the three people involved in this (the wife, the husband and the lady). I don’t mind to lend a listening ear. All of these people are close to me and I respect them a lot. But now I am getting lost. I mean, THERE IS NO triangle. But how do I make the wife lose this obsession?

When the name of the wife flashes on my screen, my pulse rate automatically starts to go up. Last two of three phone calls there was no mention of the lady forming the imaginary triangle.
‘phew, all ok!!’
But the last call – she called me, enquired about the husband (as usual) and then mentioned the lady. That was not all. After that, she laughed – it was not a normal laugh. Then abruptly changed the topic and said ‘bye’.
The whole experience still makes me shiver. I haven’t told anyone about this, but I think I need to talk – at least to the husband. She needs help or she’s going to end up in a breakdown. I have tried to explain and make her understand about all this, about the imaginary ideas she is generating in her mind. But it is not helping. I am not an expert. I am just worried, more for the wife. She’s emotionally torturing herself every single minute of her life. She has that feeling of being ‘alone’ in-spite of everyone being there for her. And I just don’t know what to do.

Yes, paradoxical isn’t it? When this happened with me – when I was ‘the lady’, I hated the wife. I thought of her as a maniac. And then of course, the question pops up in my mind – did she go through all THIS? Was her suffering more than mine? Is it more painful to have an idea in your mind that your husband is more inclined towards other women than you?
Or is it more painful to quietly bear this accusation? Try to do whatever the wife asks you to do so that their marriage remains. Go through a torture when u tell this whole story to your husband and expect him to trust you. Go through an anxiety every single time your phone rings and u think the wife is calling/messaging you again. Think, enormous amounts of time about what happened and why it happened. Critically assess yourself number of times and think – was it really me?

It is still unbelievable for me to know that there is a person in the same city I live who hates me so much.

Seriously, can a person be so obsessed?